Educational Media Reviews Online

In this emotional feature-length documentary, filmmaker and single mother Daphne McWilliams takes the viewer on a personal journey to shed light on the potential cause and effect of why her son harbors feelings of indifference and resentment towards his predominately-absentee father.

To help better understand the toxic relationship between her son Chase and his dad, McWilliams interviews several young men from various backgrounds, to include music mogul Damon Dash, co-founder of Roc-A-Fella along with Jay-Z and Kareem Burke. The interviewees are able to provide intimate and emotional stories of growing up in a single parent household without a father. It is McWilliams’ hope that confessions by others will allow Chase to understand that he is not alone in the world, nor are his feelings towards his father unique. Even though the film delves into the devastating effects of growing into manhood without a father, feelings of abandonment, rejection, and heartbreak are relatable to all families and genders.

Many of the young adults in the film admit that their absentee fathers were either too young, insecure, or made bad choices to repeat the same behavior as fathers before them. However, what is striking is that most absentee fathers go on to forge new relationships with different women and create new families while often neglecting their first-born. When does the cycle end or does it ever?

A more positive note of the film is that it truly “takes a village to raise a child.” Most interviewees can identify an external influence--aunt or uncle, priest/religion, or teacher--who have provided unlimited guidance, and support. The takeaway from this documentary is that it shows that young males can have real relationships with their mothers, and that mothers can be both mom and dad. Even if you feel isolated in a single parent household, you should know that you are not alone.

One of the interviewees, Keven Neenan, sums up the title with a few words of wisdom passed down from his mother. He says, “None of us are perfect. It is not about being perfect, it is about being able to look past the imperfections. True love? There are seven billion people in the world. It is not going to be who you are madly in love with, but who you want to spend every day with for the rest of your life.”

In closing, this viewer gives high praise to cinematographers Henry Adebonojo, Ana Dantas and Francis Augustine, as well as to Kathryn Bostic for providing a melodic soundtrack that is equivalent to the emotional roller-coaster felt by viewers and film participants. I highly recommend this film for the study of family, psychology, sex-education, and sociology.