Educational Media Reviews Online

When my library withdrew a 1997 edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette, I quickly snapped it up to keep in my office. Many a visitor has spotted it and, often upon doing so, chuckled at what sometimes seems an antiquated notion, these rules of etiquette. Considering that my colleagues and I regularly find ourselves asking library patrons to turn down eardrum busting music that emanates from headphones or take their inappropriately loud cell phone conversations outdoors, perhaps the time for revisiting these rules has come.

The degradation of human consideration receives thorough analysis in Rude: Where are Our Manners by Films for the Humanities and Sciences. While those born after 1970, sometimes referred to as “Generation Me,” often receive blame for a great deal of the poor behavior proliferating these days, rude young adults certainly did not materialize in a vacuum. Host Valerie Pringle, via a series of interviews with civility and etiquette experts such as Judith Martin, Dr. P.M. Forni, Dr. Benet Davetian, Dr. Jean Twenge, Dr. Christine Pearson, and Lynn Truss, digs toward the roots of the thoughtless behavior that brings about so much angst in our lives. Although one may nostalgically glance back at history and extol the virtues of old-fashioned manners, Martin makes clear that the good old days of etiquette are largely the stuff of myth. Some etiquette violations may have shifted from analog to digital, from institutional to individual, but the film indicates that they have long existed in some form.

Ultimately, Rude instills in the viewer a sense that, although people are certainly discourteous toward each other in their cars, in the market, and on local sidewalks, strides have been made regarding large scale social issues such as civil, women’s, and gay and lesbian rights. The film, on the whole, emphasizes that modern etiquette is less about elbows on the table than it is about kind and respectful treatment of the people around us. Dr. Jean Twenge, a professor at University of California at San Diego points out that the key to improving the way we treat one another may lie in realizing that inconsiderate behavior, most of the time, will not benefit an individual’s personal or professional success. Quite the opposite, says Martin, because people who behave rudely are not well-regarded by anyone unfortunate enough to interact with them. Perhaps I should have mentioned that to the fellow who cut me in the supermarket line last week. Alas, I thought it more civil to toss a last minute pack of milk chocolate into my cart and move on.