Educational Media Reviews Online

My Own Man is a meaningful and engaging film about David Sampliner’s search for identity. Nearing 40 years of age Sampliner realizes that he is not the man he wants to be, does not stand up for himself as he feels he should, and sees himself as sensitive, and too feminine. Sampliner begins by asking friends, family, acquaintances, and professionals for their opinions of himself and finds that generally they agree with his assessment of himself. All seem to agree that he is not very manly, but that he is sensitive and understanding. While working with a voice coach to improve his voice he is told that he needs to develop not just a better voice, but one that is more manly. Concerned about medical issues he has lab work run and finds that his testosterone is at the lower limit of normal. When his girlfriend gets pregnant and Sampliner realizes he will be having a son soon he gets serious about fixing his lack of maleness.

In this often humorous, but also poignant film he documents his efforts to develop the masculine side of his character. His retired surgeon father agrees with the assessment that Sampliner lacks masculinity, but also brings to the fore the issues that Sampliner has with his father and has had throughout his lifetime. When a life coach encourages him to begin to take risks, he joins a men’s group called New Warrior Training Adventure. Quickly he begins to realize that gimmicks will not instantly make him the man he wants to be. He continues with the group, but in addition begins to work on his conflicts with his father. He interviews members of his family and begins to get involved with activities that are considered more masculine. A rifle purchase, shooting instructions, and a successful deer hunt give him new experiences, but again do not magically transform him into a more mannish person. 

The birth of his son, gives him additional incentive, but also brings up more questions that he is not able to answer, especially from his wife. Some of these questions bring him back full circle to where he started and begin to allow him to look more closely at what he really needs to be doing. As he begins to work harder on his relationship with his own father, he begins to understand his role in bringing them to where they are today. Finally, he writes his father a letter that brings his father to tears and allows the beginning of a new relationship. As this process unfolds, he finally achieves his father’s blessings and acknowledgement of the legitimacy of his work as a filmmaker which makes the issue of masculinity less important. Even more interestingly his masculinity has obviously developed more fully during the six years he was filming this documentary. His relationship with his wife remains solid, his relationship with his family, especially his father, is totally transformed, and his sense of self-acceptance is significantly enhanced. 

The extra section included with the video documents Sampliner’s father’s reaction to the film and is a nice addition to the documentary. Overall this is a very well done film that showcases changing relationships, self-confidence, the meaning of masculinity, and the changes in relationships, self-confidence, masculinity, and life journey of a generation X male the life journey of a Generation X male over a six-year period. The film includes some very tense emotional moments and a limited amount of course language. It is highly recommended and covers some material that might be difficult for junior high school and younger viewers to understand. Public library discussion groups, high school youth groups, young men’s (even women’s) groups, gender studies programs, humanities programs, groups with an interest in culture and society, individuals, and teacher education programs would all be good target audiences for this important film.